ok yumie says i need to update my blog more so i will, even though there's nothing funny and cute to write about so it might be negative stuff for the meanwhile.

i like myself when im buzzed but i hate the way i get when im drunk. im loud and obnoxious and say whatever comes into my head, which sometimes can be funny, but sometimes can be mean or incriminating or whatever. being buzzed i have some control and am more aware of myself. that's what i prefer.

it's not about losing control because i enjoy that part. im the kinda person that always needs to be in control and so when im forced to let down my guards i think i have a better time. but everyone has their limits. even me.