why can’t i let things go? why do i hold grudges and remember every time i was ever wronged? why am i incapable of giving second chances?

if i could let things go, then i could forgive, and if i could forgive, i mean truly forgive, then i wouldn’t hold grudges and i wouldn’t be bitter. if only it were that easy…because honestly, i just don’t know how to let things go.

here's an example, a minor one in the scheme of things, but the fact that i remember shows something

in 4th grade this girl crissi claimed that if you went in your bathroom, locked the door, shut off the lights, and said "bloody mary" three times in a row that she would appear and then leave her mark on your arm. sure enough, on crissi's arm was carved the word mary. me, being the person who can't accept anything, kept questioning her. "well, how did she come out of the mirror? what if someone else did it at the same time, who would she go to?" etc., etc., etc. the after two days of badgering, she admitted that she cut the word in herself to freak everyone else out about bloody mary. so i pretty much killed the joke or whatever it was. i just couldn't let it go, as i said this is a minor example but it shows what i was trying to explain. how can i just stop that part of me and let things be as they are and not kill the joke?