mood: worn-out
song of the day: "tainted love" soft cell
Ok so I met T for coffee today. We ended up talking for 5 hours! And this wasn't just awkward things, well the first 10 minutes were really awkward, but we both knew that the fact I'd agreed to coffee was a good sign, after that all was good. It makes me wonder about a lot of things. For starters, how different would my life be now if we had stayed friends? Would we have even stayed friends through the years, or did what happen in jr. high save me from later hurt? See the thing is, T was part of a group, and as part of this group she was a follower. However, I can never forget that she did choose to follow this other person instead of me and that still saddens me. It felt great to tell her how I felt and how it affected me, but after I did that, I realized that I was over it, and that that was all I needed to say. It was great to finally say it, to let her know, and to have her agree with me. "Yeah, I was a jerk, I messed up."
After all that we talked about our friends from before and our lives now and everything in between. It was nice, and weirdly enough, it felt pretty natural. I didn't feel shy or inhibited around her, as I thought I would. But to be honest when I first arrived I was really nervous. I didn't know what to expect, and part of me didn't want to be there. But I'm glad I stayed and I'm glad all this happened. It has really given me the boost of confidence I have been looking for...
song of the day: "tainted love" soft cell
Ok so I met T for coffee today. We ended up talking for 5 hours! And this wasn't just awkward things, well the first 10 minutes were really awkward, but we both knew that the fact I'd agreed to coffee was a good sign, after that all was good. It makes me wonder about a lot of things. For starters, how different would my life be now if we had stayed friends? Would we have even stayed friends through the years, or did what happen in jr. high save me from later hurt? See the thing is, T was part of a group, and as part of this group she was a follower. However, I can never forget that she did choose to follow this other person instead of me and that still saddens me. It felt great to tell her how I felt and how it affected me, but after I did that, I realized that I was over it, and that that was all I needed to say. It was great to finally say it, to let her know, and to have her agree with me. "Yeah, I was a jerk, I messed up."
After all that we talked about our friends from before and our lives now and everything in between. It was nice, and weirdly enough, it felt pretty natural. I didn't feel shy or inhibited around her, as I thought I would. But to be honest when I first arrived I was really nervous. I didn't know what to expect, and part of me didn't want to be there. But I'm glad I stayed and I'm glad all this happened. It has really given me the boost of confidence I have been looking for...
