mood: anxious
caffeine units: 0
song of the day: "Love Profusion" by Madonna
Don't you hate it when something that happened in the past all of a sudden pops back into your head? Something that you never want to think about again? Something that completely tore up your life, something you can't handle reliving, yet something you still haven't resolved and still hope that a resolution will someday be reached? Last year, I asked someone close to me a somewhat personal, yet very vital question (future lawyer here, I question everything), and they lied to me. It hurts to know that this person could look me in the eye and swear to me that what they are saying is true. Perhaps it wasn't my place to ask this particular question, but it was asked, and this person chose to respond rather than not to respond. Why did this thought come into my head? I regret asking the question, but once its out there it cannot be taken back, and once its answered, the answer cannot be disputed or changed. So I guess I thought about it because it still hasn't been resolved, because I still have a secret hope that this person will bring up the topic and come clean. But I am also aware that the chances of this happening are slim to none. Why would this person want to come clean after this long? What's the point for them? It would only serve as a relief to me, and as this person doesn't know that I need this relief or that this problem even exists, this topic is dead and buried to them. So there's the dilemma, it sometimes bothers me, sometimes randomly pops into my head and forces me to remember it, yet I can't bring it up because it would bring up too many other things I don't wanna deal with at the moment or ever.
On a side note, isn't it annoying when you ask someone "why?" and they respond with "why not?"?
caffeine units: 0
song of the day: "Love Profusion" by Madonna
Don't you hate it when something that happened in the past all of a sudden pops back into your head? Something that you never want to think about again? Something that completely tore up your life, something you can't handle reliving, yet something you still haven't resolved and still hope that a resolution will someday be reached? Last year, I asked someone close to me a somewhat personal, yet very vital question (future lawyer here, I question everything), and they lied to me. It hurts to know that this person could look me in the eye and swear to me that what they are saying is true. Perhaps it wasn't my place to ask this particular question, but it was asked, and this person chose to respond rather than not to respond. Why did this thought come into my head? I regret asking the question, but once its out there it cannot be taken back, and once its answered, the answer cannot be disputed or changed. So I guess I thought about it because it still hasn't been resolved, because I still have a secret hope that this person will bring up the topic and come clean. But I am also aware that the chances of this happening are slim to none. Why would this person want to come clean after this long? What's the point for them? It would only serve as a relief to me, and as this person doesn't know that I need this relief or that this problem even exists, this topic is dead and buried to them. So there's the dilemma, it sometimes bothers me, sometimes randomly pops into my head and forces me to remember it, yet I can't bring it up because it would bring up too many other things I don't wanna deal with at the moment or ever.
On a side note, isn't it annoying when you ask someone "why?" and they respond with "why not?"?
