Last night did not go as planned. I don't know what I was thinking. Now the drinking break is back on. Maybe a couple of drinks but no getting drunk. I am less in control of my drinking than I thought. I don't know when to stop and no one else ever cuts me off. I don't need drunkenness to be in my life. It is not good.

The party was a total chick fest (is there an equivalent word to cockfest) so meeting guys wasn't going to happen. Some parties I get so excited for and later I don't get it. It's not like one party will change my life. But at the time I think it will. I have issues.

Someone was at the party that my roomie hates and I realized he bothers me soooo much that his presence actually ruined my time. I really wanted to hurt him. He's such an asshole, but he should know that by now.

Lonely, such a horrible feeling and so hard to admit you feel it.