she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way
how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the
arms of a man
and if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
what could be worse that leaving something behind
and as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
it's loneliness she finds ...
if only he was mine
- "rinse" - vanessa carlton
This song perfectly describes millions of girls, including me, as we search for love, thinking that having a boyfriend will make us happy. But its just like I was discussing about our relationship patterns: we need to break the pattern and realize that we are self-sufficient and functioning human beings on our own before we are able to love.
I know this sounds depressing/negative but I've been beating myself up lately over my lack of a boyfriend, wondering what's wrong with me, going to the gym 5 days a week, eating half of what I normally eat. All for what? All because I felt inadeqaute because two of my closest friends at home have steady boyfriends and I kept thinking, "why not me?" All because when my friend and I were discussing why we should be jealous of the other she replied, "uhh uhhh, ur smart." All because when I complained to someone that I was gross she said "but you have a great personality." All because the guy who rejected me on the basis that he "doesn't want a relationship" now announces that he wishes he had a girl right now (so he really meant he wants a relationship just not with me, how sweet). That's when all the negativity came out, and I decided it was because of my excess 10 pounds, lack of style, and lack of effort.
Then I realize all the drama that my friends with serious boyfriends have gone through. And I remember all the times they have called/come over crying over their boys.
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way
how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the
arms of a man
and if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
what could be worse that leaving something behind
and as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
it's loneliness she finds ...
if only he was mine
- "rinse" - vanessa carlton
This song perfectly describes millions of girls, including me, as we search for love, thinking that having a boyfriend will make us happy. But its just like I was discussing about our relationship patterns: we need to break the pattern and realize that we are self-sufficient and functioning human beings on our own before we are able to love.
I know this sounds depressing/negative but I've been beating myself up lately over my lack of a boyfriend, wondering what's wrong with me, going to the gym 5 days a week, eating half of what I normally eat. All for what? All because I felt inadeqaute because two of my closest friends at home have steady boyfriends and I kept thinking, "why not me?" All because when my friend and I were discussing why we should be jealous of the other she replied, "uhh uhhh, ur smart." All because when I complained to someone that I was gross she said "but you have a great personality." All because the guy who rejected me on the basis that he "doesn't want a relationship" now announces that he wishes he had a girl right now (so he really meant he wants a relationship just not with me, how sweet). That's when all the negativity came out, and I decided it was because of my excess 10 pounds, lack of style, and lack of effort.
Then I realize all the drama that my friends with serious boyfriends have gone through. And I remember all the times they have called/come over crying over their boys.
